A Christmas letter is a tricky thing. You don’t think so? Perhaps not if you don’t really think about what you’re writing and slap some yearly recaps down on a piece of paper and send off to your friends and family. But this route can come off as a tad narcissistic — something that I worry about a great deal. Why should people care what I did the past year? Why should I try to make that sound wonderful just for the sake of a Christmas letter update? It all seems a little forced to me…. and is typically my reason for avoiding sending Christmas letters in general.
But what if you do really want to send a Christmas letter to update people, but don’t want to come off as overly self-important? Here’s an idea from the page of the book from my fabulous Aunt Janet (rest her soul): Have your cat write your Christmas letter! My Aunt was hardly the first person to write a Christmas letter from her cats, but she certainly perfected it. She managed to convey news without coming off as being boastful and she could even relay updates about serious situations (like her declining health in later years) without making the whole letter sound like a bummer— through the use of her whimsical Cat-speak. Her letters often became bits of my favorite holiday-time reading (and Dad, yes, before you ask— right up there with your narration of “Twas a Night before Xmas”).
I certainly miss my Aunt’s holiday letters (and my Aunt in general), but here are some tips in the meantime for writing your own cat greetings
1) Cats misspell words…. They do it a lot! The more words you misspell, the better, but…..
2) Don’t misspell the words too much (my Aunt did this one year— a little tricky to decipher ) A tip that I learned in a optical illusion book: you can still read words if all the letters are out of place in the middle, but the first and last letter are still correct. Do with that tip as you will
3) Human news is great, but if you are writing as a cat, you will have to include some cat updates as well to seem genuine
4) Before you send the letter have someone read it to you. Does it sound like something you wrote? If it does, you need more cat-speak! For tips, go to Icanhascheezburger —- they’ve really perfected it over there
5) Include pictures of cats— but pictures of yourself too. Both are necessary in my opinion for a proper cat crazy Christmas letter!